Archive for the ‘S. Asia’ Category

Stuff Brown People Like

March 7, 2008

A profound and thought-provoking blog, stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com, which I strongly feel should be awarded the Nobel Prize in blogging, made me think about the stuff that my people (brown-people aka South Asians) like. Now given my personal preference for food, the first two things that came to my mind were chai and chaat.

Chai – Chai is sweet spicy milk made from boiling 100% high-fat milk, water, tea leaves and about a pound of sugar. This is nothing like the crap you buy from Starbucks, which is meant for those who are either diabetic or anorexic. For a South Asian, no excretory processes can begin without a cup of chai in the morning. Gossips are senseless and spiceless unless enjoyed with a warm cup of sweet chai. Viagara, Cialis, Anacin, Avil work for South Asians only when taken with 2 cups of chai. Marriages can not be consummated (see a Bollywood movie, if you donot trust me) without the consumption of this holy drink. In short, without this cup of brown liquid, life would be incomplete for most brown people.

Chaat – Chaat is an appetizer made from rice flakes, onions, coriander, salt, black pepper etc. etc. The uncountable spices and chutneys in the chaat on consumption undergo disintegration/combustion into various gases. These gases then escape the body and produce the most odorful farts. These farts are of much better quality compared to the bollywood song and dance farts. On the downside, from an environmental perspective, these gases contribute to global warming to a scale beyond imagination. Perhaps, it is time (given our population numbers) to start thinking about including farts from chaats in emissions trading.